You simply must check out these inventions. They are quite genius – especially the pillow headpiece – however, the person modeling it IS NOT A GENIUS. If you’ll notice, the pillow is at the back of this model’s head, not the front…SO WHY ARE YOU WEARING A PILLOW HAT IF YOU’RE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON YOUR ARMS ANYWAY!?? Don’t mind this person, and check out these other inventions for yourself.
A: Yes, but only when people send me silly pictures like this while I am at work.
Stop it you guys, I cant even…
[Archive under: The Peepee Teepee is a kick ass invention for all those diaper-changers out there…and FOR MY SOUL]
1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. Bad decisions make good stories.
10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
12. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
13. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
14. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
15. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
17. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
18. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 66). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors - green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at her. The teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring every time.
When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked: “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?” Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; I knew he would have a good one!
In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid ….
“Got stoned once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you might be my kid.”